How to move on after a breakup? Perhaps this is not your first breakup, but you are so in love with him/her and were sure that you and him/ her will get married and live with the rest of your lives together. But, everything suddenly went out of the blue and it hurts so much. Perhaps it’s been a month after your breakup and everyone is telling you to get over him/her and start looking for a new date, but you cannot do so. Are you depressed and sad? Here are the some tips that can help you get over him/ her after a breakup.
Breakup is not easy to bear. You feel a variety of emotions and pretending that you’re fine will not help you get over him/ her. You have to let yourself mourn, get mad, cry, punch a pillow and shout. By doing these things, you can release the negative emotions that you feel after a breakup. Also, you have to surround yourself with people willing to listen to you. People who are in the middle of a breakup, especially teens, pretend that they are fine and not affected by the breakup because of pride. However, it’s healthier to show yourself, to show your suffering, instead of growing numb.
2. Do Not Seek Revenge
Oftentimes, people in the middle of a break up seek revenge, but it’s the doing of bitter people. It’s his/her loss, not yours. You may have been badly and deeply wounded, but doing revenge will not heal your wounds. Learn to forgive and move on. Seeking revenge will only bring disaster and havoc to your life. It’s ok to think of revenge to your ex, especially if you have been cheated. But, remember that revenge will make you feel bitter. Go to church and seek support from anonymous online love forums. Doing this will enlighten your mind about the current situation you’re into and help you think more focused. Besides, taking revenge will only put you to legal matters.
3. Do not try to be friends with him/ her
A breakup rarely leads to friendship. You have to create an intentional space while letting yourself mourn to the end of your love. If your ex is pushing for a friendship, you have to stand your ground if you do not agree with the idea. If you try to be friend with your ex, you will always remember how he/she broke your heart and it will not help you move on.
4. Do not communicate with your ex by any means
Perhaps you broke up last week and you have some thoughts that you want to tell him/ her and the first thing that comes your mind is text him/ her. Do not do this. There are right times to communicate with your ex like returning things, pet, or something else, but you have to resist the urge of communicating with him/ her. Ask one of your close friends to do this for you. Many people, especially teens and young adults feel lost after a breakup. However, they feel lost not because of they no longer have their ex, but the lost of their daily habits that revolve around their ex.
5. Do no sleep together
Sometimes, you or your ex will request that you sleep together before your relationship ends. In fact, this is common to teens and younger adults. Let the break up come clean. If you do this, the emotional wound that you feel will only deepen. Worse, you can feel humiliated by yourself for doing so.
6. Do not beg for reconciliation
Because you love your ex so much, you will beg for reconciliation even if the breakup was not your fault. Never do this as you may be rejected for the second time, which may sting extra humiliation. Instead of clinging to a lost hope, be with your close friends that walk through the reasons why you’re having a hard time.
7. Never make harsh decisions post breakups
Sometimes, people make harsh decisions after a breakup. Some get a haircut while others get a tattoo. A single major change in your life can inspire more. Worse, if the major change you make is bad, you can fall into a situation where you constantly remember you ex and make you say, “If not because of you, I’m not like this” or “If only we were together, my life could be better”. Wait until you are emotionally back on your feet and then make decisions.
8. Do no stalk your ex on Facebook, Twitter or any social media
Stalking your ex on social media while in the middle of a breakup can put you to a situation that will worsen your negative emotions. First, texting your ex can make you discover something in him that can make you feel more cheated, if you ex did so. Second, never post anything about your breakup online. This will make you cling to a hope that your ex has possibly read it and post a comment too. Also never hide statuses or de-friend your ex as this also gives you an urge to check if his/her life is more miserable than yours.
9. Give him/her up
The only way to get over your ex and move on is to accept that fact that your relationship has come to an end. Let him/her go. Take some time for your own self to refocus and pursue. Look at the breakup on the positive side. Think of this an opportunity to do the things that you cannot do when you were still together. Keep in mind that you’re a unique person and there is someone that deserves your love better than your ex.
You are young and there is more to life. Let go and move on. Take your breakup as an opportunity to improve yourself as a person and then along the way, you will find that person who will love you, stay by your side and will never leave you.