Do you regularly find yourself angry at other people? Do you have a person or people who have a way of getting on your nerves and making you mad? How do you handle these feelings? Do you lash out with words or actions that can hurt these people? Sometimes, when we act in the heat of the moment, we do or say things we end up regretting and can’t take back. Do you want to be that person that has the reputation of being mean as a result of how you deal with people who make you mad, or whom you just don’t like? There are ways to handle ill or destructive feelings toward others without having to worry about long term damage to our relationships with other people. If you’re looking for a way to help suppress anger and destructive feelings toward another person, then you need to continue reading. Listed below are 8 ways to handle such destructive feelings.
Stop and breathe
This one sounds simple enough, right? When someone comes up to you and says or does something that upsets you, don’t immediately react. Take a moment to yourself, and just relax. Stop what you’re doing, take a deep breath, and count to ten. This will give you time to accurately assess the situation, and to figure out a mature way to deal with it. While breathing, think quietly to yourself about ways to handle the situation with the least amount of conflict. Once you’ve come up with a few ideas, then re-open discussion of the situation with the other person. Give the other person the chance to hear you out, and the opportunity to respond with his or her point of view.
Think positive thoughts
This one is simple. No matter who you’re mad at, or what they’ve done to make you feel that way, try to think of some of the good things about this person. Good deeds he or she may have done before, work performance, etc. Thinking about the positive traits the other person has can help you outweigh the bad ones. Just remember that the other person is only human, and we all make mistakes.
One of the best ways to handle destructive feelings toward someone else is the simple act of communication. Find time to sit and have a talk with the person in question. Be honest, and tell the person what exactly it is that you have a problem with. Tell the person what things he or she does that you don’t like. With open communication, the two of you may be able to work together to resolve any conflict.
Writing is a great way to calm yourself down, and release negative feelings so that they don’t stay bottled up inside. Starting a blog, or keeping a private journal allows a person to write out all of their thoughts. When you have a way to release any bad feelings toward others, you’re less prone to lash out on them in the long run. For some people, writing is therapeutic. If you like writing, then this may be a preferred method for you to use to deal with the stress that other people may bring your way.
This is a great way to handle destructive feelings toward other people because exercising releases endorphins, which give a person the feeling of being happy. The happier you are, the less likely you are to stew over the person you have issues with. You’re also able to more effectively think of a solution to fix the situation with the other person. Also, you’re sneaking in a workout in the process!
We all know that things like meditation or yoga can help a person be able to truly relax. When your mind is relaxed, you aren’t thinking or worried about the person who’s upsetting you. Try looking into some local classes to see if any of these methods could work well for you. You never know unless you try it!
In a good way. Think about something you really enjoy, and do it. If you want to jam out to your iPod while dancing around the kitchen and sliding across the floor in your socks, do it. If you want to sing out loud in the shower, do it. If you want to throw a party with your friends, do it (but don’t get in trouble in the process). Regularly doing the things that you enjoy most can help keep you a happier person as a whole. The happier you are, the less likely you are to get into conflicts with other people.
Have a person to vent to
Sometimes it helps to just know that someone’s there for you. It helps to have a person that you can talk to about the situation. The person can then give you his or her point of view. Your friend can also help you think of ways that you can effectively settle conflict in non-destructive ways. Having an outside person assess the situation definitely has its benefits.
We all have people that we deal with in our everyday lives who cause us anger and bad feelings. These people can be anyone. Sometimes they’re peers or classmates, sometimes they’re people who play other roles in your life. Maybe it’s a friend who secretly gets on your nerves, or a family member that you really don’t get along with. The best thing to do whenever conflict arises with these people, is to remember to not act out in negative ways. When you act before thinking, you risk irreversible damage to relationships with other people. The solutions listed above for how to deal with destructive feelings toward other people vary, in that some are short term and some are long term. Short term methods, like breathing and counting to ten, can help you deal with feelings that arrive suddenly and unexpectedly. Long term methods, like meditation or yoga, can help you avoid conflicts and destructive feelings for longer periods of time.