8 Ways To Handle Destructive Feelings Toward Other People

Do you regularly find yourself angry at other people? Do you have a person or people who have a way of getting on your nerves and making you mad? How do you handle these feelings? Do you lash out with words or actions that can hurt these people? Sometimes, when we act in the heat of the moment, we do or say things we end up regretting and can’t take back. Do you want to be that person that has the reputation of being mean as a result of how you deal with people who make you mad, or whom you just don’t like? There are ways to handle ill or destructive feelings toward others without having to worry about long term damage to our relationships with other people. If you’re looking for a way to help suppress anger and destructive feelings toward another person, then you need to continue reading. Listed below are 8 ways to handle such destructive feelings.
Destructive Feelings
Stop and breathe

This one sounds simple enough, right? When someone comes up to you and says or does something that upsets you, don’t immediately react. Take a moment to yourself, and just relax. Stop what you’re doing, take a deep breath, and count to ten. This will give you time to accurately assess the situation, and to figure out a mature way to deal with it. While breathing, think quietly to yourself about ways to handle the situation with the least amount of conflict. Once you’ve come up with a few ideas, then re-open discussion of the situation with the other person. Give the other person the chance to hear you out, and the opportunity to respond with his or her point of view.

Think positive thoughts

This one is simple. No matter who you’re mad at, or what they’ve done to make you feel that way, try to think of some of the good things about this person. Good deeds he or she may have done before, work performance, etc. Thinking about the positive traits the other person has can help you outweigh the bad ones. Just remember that the other person is only human, and we all make mistakes.

Communicate

One of the best ways to handle destructive feelings toward someone else is the simple act of communication. Find time to sit and have a talk with the person in question. Be honest, and tell the person what exactly it is that you have a problem with. Tell the person what things he or she does that you don’t like. With open communication, the two of you may be able to work together to resolve any conflict.

Writing

Writing is a great way to calm yourself down, and release negative feelings so that they don’t stay bottled up inside. Starting a blog, or keeping a private journal allows a person to write out all of their thoughts. When you have a way to release any bad feelings toward others, you’re less prone to lash out on them in the long run. For some people, writing is therapeutic. If you like writing, then this may be a preferred method for you to use to deal with the stress that other people may bring your way.

Exercise

This is a great way to handle destructive feelings toward other people because exercising releases endorphins, which give a person the feeling of being happy. The happier you are, the less likely you are to stew over the person you have issues with. You’re also able to more effectively think of a solution to fix the situation with the other person. Also, you’re sneaking in a workout in the process!

Meditation/Yoga

We all know that things like meditation or yoga can help a person be able to truly relax. When your mind is relaxed, you aren’t thinking or worried about the person who’s upsetting you. Try looking into some local classes to see if any of these methods could work well for you. You never know unless you try it!

Let loose

In a good way. Think about something you really enjoy, and do it. If you want to jam out to your iPod while dancing around the kitchen and sliding across the floor in your socks, do it. If you want to sing out loud in the shower, do it. If you want to throw a party with your friends, do it (but don’t get in trouble in the process). Regularly doing the things that you enjoy most can help keep you a happier person as a whole. The happier you are, the less likely you are to get into conflicts with other people.

Have a person to vent to

Sometimes it helps to just know that someone’s there for you. It helps to have a person that you can talk to about the situation. The person can then give you his or her point of view. Your friend can also help you think of ways that you can effectively settle conflict in non-destructive ways. Having an outside person assess the situation definitely has its benefits.

We all have people that we deal with in our everyday lives who cause us anger and bad feelings. These people can be anyone. Sometimes they’re peers or classmates, sometimes they’re people who play other roles in your life. Maybe it’s a friend who secretly gets on your nerves, or a family member that you really don’t get along with. The best thing to do whenever conflict arises with these people, is to remember to not act out in negative ways. When you act before thinking, you risk irreversible damage to relationships with other people. The solutions listed above for how to deal with destructive feelings toward other people vary, in that some are short term and some are long term. Short term methods, like breathing and counting to ten, can help you deal with feelings that arrive suddenly and unexpectedly. Long term methods, like meditation or yoga, can help you avoid conflicts and destructive feelings for longer periods of time.

10 Amazing Life Tips you Must Know

People go through life every day and sometimes they are just going through the motions and not really living their life to the fullest. Here are 10 life tips that will help you to have a better life:

1. Just focus on the present

There is a saying that goes, today is the first day of the rest of your life. This is true because the past is already done and it can’t be changed. The future may not get to happen at all. So, all we have right now is today and if a person learns to live in the present, then they will be happier because otherwise they are not really living their life to the fullest.

9 Things That Might Help Get Over Your Ex After a Breakup

How to move on after a breakup? Perhaps this is not your first breakup, but you are so in love with him/her and were sure that you and him/ her will get married and live with the rest of your lives together. But, everything suddenly went out of the blue and it hurts so much. Perhaps it’s been a month after your breakup and everyone is telling you to get over him/her and start looking for a new date, but you cannot do so. Are you depressed and sad? Here are the some tips that can help you get over him/ her after a breakup.

breakup recovery

1. Do not pretend that you’re fine

Breakup is not easy to bear. You feel a variety of emotions and pretending that you’re fine will not help you get over him/ her. You have to let yourself mourn, get mad, cry, punch a pillow and shout. By doing these things, you can release the negative emotions that you feel after a breakup. Also, you have to surround yourself with people willing to listen to you. People who are in the middle of a breakup, especially teens, pretend that they are fine and not affected by the breakup because of pride. However, it’s healthier to show yourself, to show your suffering, instead of growing numb.

2. Do Not Seek Revenge

Oftentimes, people in the middle of a break up seek revenge, but it’s the doing of bitter people. It’s his/her loss, not yours. You may have been badly and deeply wounded, but doing revenge will not heal your wounds. Learn to forgive and move on. Seeking revenge will only bring disaster and havoc to your life. It’s ok to think of revenge to your ex, especially if you have been cheated. But, remember that revenge will make you feel bitter. Go to church and seek support from anonymous online love forums. Doing this will enlighten your mind about the current situation you’re into and help you think more focused. Besides, taking revenge will only put you to legal matters.

3. Do not try to be friends with him/ her

A breakup rarely leads to friendship. You have to create an intentional space while letting yourself mourn to the end of your love. If your ex is pushing for a friendship, you have to stand your ground if you do not agree with the idea. If you try to be friend with your ex, you will always remember how he/she broke your heart and it will not help you move on.

4. Do not communicate with your ex by any means

Perhaps you broke up last week and you have some thoughts that you want to tell him/ her and the first thing that comes your mind is text him/ her. Do not do this. There are right times to communicate with your ex like returning things, pet, or something else, but you have to resist the urge of communicating with him/ her. Ask one of your close friends to do this for you. Many people, especially teens and young adults feel lost after a breakup. However, they feel lost not because of they no longer have their ex, but the lost of their daily habits that revolve around their ex.

5. Do no sleep together

Sometimes, you or your ex will request that you sleep together before your relationship ends. In fact, this is common to teens and younger adults. Let the break up come clean. If you do this, the emotional wound that you feel will only deepen. Worse, you can feel humiliated by yourself for doing so.

6. Do not beg for reconciliation

Because you love your ex so much, you will beg for reconciliation even if the breakup was not your fault. Never do this as you may be rejected for the second time, which may sting extra humiliation. Instead of clinging to a lost hope, be with your close friends that walk through the reasons why you’re having a hard time.

7. Never make harsh decisions post breakups

Sometimes, people make harsh decisions after a breakup. Some get a haircut while others get a tattoo. A single major change in your life can inspire more. Worse, if the major change you make is bad, you can fall into a situation where you constantly remember you ex and make you say, “If not because of you, I’m not like this” or “If only we were together, my life could be better”. Wait until you are emotionally back on your feet and then make decisions.

8. Do no stalk your ex on Facebook, Twitter or any social media

Stalking your ex on social media while in the middle of a breakup can put you to a situation that will worsen your negative emotions. First, texting your ex can make you discover something in him that can make you feel more cheated, if you ex did so. Second, never post anything about your breakup online. This will make you cling to a hope that your ex has possibly read it and post a comment too. Also never hide statuses or de-friend your ex as this also gives you an urge to check if his/her life is more miserable than yours.

9. Give him/her up

The only way to get over your ex and move on is to accept that fact that your relationship has come to an end. Let him/her go. Take some time for your own self to refocus and pursue. Look at the breakup on the positive side. Think of this an opportunity to do the things that you cannot do when you were still together. Keep in mind that you’re a unique person and there is someone that deserves your love better than your ex.

You are young and there is more to life. Let go and move on. Take your breakup as an opportunity to improve yourself as a person and then along the way, you will find that person who will love you, stay by your side and will never leave you.